I had a feeling once. I wonder what happened to it.

Whenever I’m in a relationship I feel as if I’m being unfaithful to myself.

Patronage of NegationI am constantly confronted by other people’s worksThat I could have created myself.And I am constantly disappointed by them.Sadly, I have to recognize themFor what they are: inferior versionsOf what I could have doneIf I’d been insecure enough in my abilitiesTo do anything.

VIEW FROM A HILLI am not yet quite over it.I am lying down on top of it.Surveying behind me a wastelandOf dried-up promise.While the lights below twinkleWith dull mocking uncertainty.There isn't much left to look forward to,And the looking forward of the past has been belied.

RIVETING TORPORIt is remarkable how far I am prepared to goIn order to avoid doing the one thing that mightProvide satisfaction, and it is remarkable to considerWhat I will do instead of it, purely for the pleasureOf being dissatisfied. When it is merely a matterOf sitting down for a few hours and dreamingThat something of value might eventually ariseFrom this routine of self-enforced boredom.

IMPROVIDENCEThe other lives I might have ledAll now might as well beDead. Survived by no one.Barren, without issue of any sort:This withered bud, failedIn art and love. With no time leftTo change my course. But time enoughfor infinite remorse.